Romantic Gay Weddings

Gay pride???????????

Not being gay myself, I have to put this question forward. One of two things can be true. If you are gay, you eithier are because you were born that way, or because you chose to be. Most will say they were born that way, which means it was not a cognisant choice. If this is true, how can you take pride in being gay? You had no choice. Thats like saying I'm proud to be white. Really? You had no say in it, why would you take pride in that which you cannot control? Pride can be taken in personal choices and achievements, but not in things you have no control over. So if you didn't choose to be gay, yet take pride in it, how are no any better than some white prider? If you did choose to be gay, how can you defend your choice from attacks from christian fundementalists? I'm not gay, not anti gay, not christian, not a white prider. Just a question.

Public Comments

1. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2. i totally agree with you. i am a lesbian and didnt choose to be this way. i've liked girls as long as i can remember. i'm not proud to just be gay, i'm just proud to be myself. gay is only part of who i am, its not everything i am.

3. wow. that actually makes sense. i am of the christian faith, and i belive its not by birth. being gay is a choice.

4. you have no choice to be an american, and are you proud of that?

5. Being proud to be gay is like being proud to be black. They have had obstacles and had to face prejudice. Whites haven't. You can be proud to be white, sure.. but it's not exactly the same thing.

6. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7. I sort of understand your point, but let me use your own analogy and say this; if there were hardly any white people around, and you were one of the few...maybe you felt small and intimidated. So one day you got together with the few white people you knew, and despite feeling afraid..you guys did a little white pride parade.

That may sound silly, but I think that's what it's like. Since they don't have a choice, they have to live with it. But they don't want to live afraid and in the closet their whole lives.

But at the same time, I must also add that the rest of us do not need it thrust into our faces. So yes, I think they should be proud, just as I am proud to be me. But I won't push my own beliefs or lifestyle in anyone else's face, either.

8. I would say that it is a choice. I made it. It's not an obvious choice, it's more like a series of seemingly unrelated choices that bring you to a door that is really hard to not walk through by the time you get to it. It's about things like early sexual exposure, a father that leaves the family, (for girls) being a tomboy, choosing not to wear makeup, liking sports, and then eventually accepting the lie of the label that gets placed on you when you do that.

I hit a place where that label got placed on me long enough that I began to believe it myself. I then spent 8 years in misery, hating how I was . I finally found the truth, made the choice to deny that label that was on me, and eventually I escaped from that hellish pit. It is a choice, just not the way many people think.

9. You can be proud of whatever you want, who said what you can and can't be proud of? I was born white, polish, straight, whatever. And im proud of all of those things, I like being those things and Im happy....oh i see what ur saying now, yes you can be happy but the word proud is something that describes your happiness of something that you achieved over everyone else. So yes i agree its a little weird to say you are proud of things that you were born with because you did not do anything to get them, ut you could be happy and feel that what you have is better than what other people have.

10. I'm straight, but I enjoy the Gay Pride Parade. I don't like the name. I do like seeing the topless lesbians and just the whole festive atmosphere.

I think they're just addressing a balance issue. In the past it used to be considered shameful to be gay by a lot of stupid people.

Healthy gay people don't think in terms of pride or shame regarding their sexuality. They're just what they are.

11. The truth is that most of us are still against gay, at least from the government side. So gay people have to do something back by saying "Gay pride" and " gay is not bad".

12. Paige said it best! It's a matter of facing horrendous obstacles on the way to a healthy self-esteem! It's very liberating one realizes that is more than OK to be gay.

13. We are proud to overcome all the hate and stigma that has been put on the lesbian and gay community by the straight people. We are proud to be in control over our lives and proud of the choice to come out and say that we are gay and we love who we are. It's not about being proud of things we CAN'T change, but of the things that we have EMBRACED.

14. Gay Pride is there to remind everyone including the hets that we exist, we are human, and we deserve every right that they have. even though they don't acknowledge us as such.

15. For me gay pride is an effort to show others they have nothing to fear. Imagine growing up being told that you were bad, sinful, being made fun of, disparaged all the time for being who you are, and the worst part of it all is having it CONDONED by those who are supposed to be role models. You know, the ones you're supposed to emulate.
Yes I'm a proud gay man, but first and foremost I'm a law abiding human being, I have feelings like anyone else, and for me gay pride is a way to show others that they don't have to fall for the trap of the past, the one that needs an enemy in order to validate itself. For me gay pride is just another way of demonstrating that we are all here and we all have to get along for the betterment of society as a whole.
Thank you for your time.

16. You're funny!

On St. Patrick's Day, do the Irish not take pride in BEING Irish?
Do the Italians not take pride in BEING Italian on St. Joseph's Day or Columbus Day?

Don't tell me pride events are only about things one chooses, because it's simply not true.

Obviously you've never heard of Black Pride or Puerto Rican Pride either.

You cannot control of what decent you are born or of your race or your heritage.
Are you then denying that we of the Glbt community have a heritage, a background, a history?
Are you denying that many gays and lesbians and transgendereds have been NEEDLESSLY murdered SIMPLY for being or even just APPEARING to be gay or lesbian or trans.

By denying us our Pride in BEING, you deny us our History, our struggles, our pain.
By denying us our Pride, you join in with those who would deny us our LIBERTY, our EQUALITY, our HUMAN DIGNITY!

Just think for a moment what we as a community have lived through and how far we still have to go.
Then you might better understand what Gay Pride is actually all about!

17. Apples and Oranges.

White Pride people are proud "at others expense," i.e., we're BETTER than them!

Gay Pride is because, although SOCIETY does not APPROVE of our lives; "we WILL NOT feel bad about that." That is societies problem, not ours. That's gay pride. Its about us overcoming societies obstacles placed in front of us, whereas White Pride is "creating" unreal obstacles to feel your better than someone else.

We just want to be equal, NOT BETTER!

18. Gay pride is being happy with who you are and not attempting to hide who you are. It is the same as being black, Indian, Chinese, Mexican, or even white. We take pride in the person we are.

You have to understand that a GBLT is born with feelings that society says is wrong. As children girls are told they will get married to a man and have children. Boys are urged not to cry and be a "sissy". From a young age, GBLT are conditioned that what they are is either wrong or evil.

Gay Pride was invented (for lack of a better word) to allow GBLT to come out and accept and love themselves without judgment from other GBLT (and friends).

Yes being gay is not an accomplishment on a job well done - loving and accepting yourself in a place where many hate you is.

19. I am not gay either but I know people that are, Gay Pride??? In society There are mixed views on gayness as there is with race, colour, creed, Religion There is prejudice, hatred, and beyond, A gay person not only has to battle with their feelings, but they also battle with society, I see gay pride as these people shrugging off the closed mindedness of society and being happy, open and proud of who they are, They club together and call them selves members of Gay pride, How can they defend themselves against attack, They don't, they rise above it, If society would just accept that every human is different and individual with a whole hosts of qualities and stopped stipulating what others should and should not do, and everyone just got on with their lives and stopped interfering with others, the world would be a better place, I truly believe there needs to be rules for society to follow otherwise there would be bedlam but as long as people are not hurting others, We all deserve the right to live our lives the way we choose without prejudice, Society has become too controlling that it has got in the way of people sharing, and the good in the world, Groups are forming that are so selfish and self opinionated and so worried about what the other is doing that kindness, discussion and accepting and being able to rationalize has gone and the seven sins of man are definitely taking a hold.

20. This is a good, if already-asked-many-times, question.

And you're right. If you don't choose something, how can you truly take pride in it?

My take on it is that GLBT pride is not literal pride the way one has pride for having some accomplishment. Rather, it's a pride that we use in opposition to shame. To face reality, GLBT individuals are continuously ridiculed, teased, marginalized, forced into invisibility in this heteronormative world, hated, and basically heaped on with shame. The concept of gay pride is to fight that- it's to say "I'm not ashamed of who I am; I'm worthy and I'm proud of my sexuality.". It's not a literal pride.

I see it as akin to what's known as 'black pride'. Like you said, nobody should take pride in their skin color; it wasn't their choice. Yet black people, even after they won some equality, still found that they were treated differently for their skin color, still seen as different, as less in comparison to ideals of Caucasian/European beauty, speech, behavior, etc., etc.. So James Brown said it best for them: say it loud- I'm black and I'm proud. It was the rallying call that said "Don't let 'em do that to you- hold your head up high and embrace your blackness.". It's not real pride, which would be an awful racist thing, but a different matter.

Basically, there's nothing wrong with a celebration of oneself, typically called 'pride', and there's a big difference between that and actual pride.

Hope that helps!

21. "proud" to be gay? well, I'm not ashamed to be. yes, I was born the way I am, just like you were born straight. I am out to everyone and they love and accept me for who I am. I am proud of many things...my friends, my family, being a good person and not being close-minded and judgment like so many people who repeat the same old questions over and over and over....